Go Joe!

Kiira Korpi

Eye of newt! Hair of virgin! Fat of koala bear!

Women's Figure Skater Kiira Korpi of Finland will be Egg Shen's love slave! Hee hee hee hee!

Good thing she's 16. Old enough to drive Egg Shen to Costco to get Geritol.

The Ultimate Showdown

Optimus Prime ain't got shit on Mister Rogers.

Springtime For Frankenstein In Turin

Egg Shen want to know if these people are competing in the Olympics or trying to build Frankenstein monster?

TURIN (Reuters) - Three Austrian Winter Olympic golds provided a perfect counterweight to the extraordinary doping saga which continued to plague their team on Monday.

Yet the biathlon and cross-country skiing coach, whose presence in Italy had put the Austrians in such unwanted limelight when their bases were raided by police looking for drugs over the weekend, still haunted the team even though he had returned home.

Walter Mayer's admission to an Austrian psychiatric hospital was the latest almost surreal twist to a drama which has featured a night-time drugs raid by police, a car crash, an arrest and two Austrian athletes disappearing into the night.

"Walter Mayer is in the psychiatric hospital, unfortunately. He's in custody to protect himself because apparently he's said he wanted to commit suicide or something like that. I couldn't talk to him myself," Austrian Ski Federation president Peter Schroecksnadel told state radio ORF.

Mayer is banned from the Games over his involvement in a blood doping scandal at the Salt Lake City Games in 2002. He was not found during the raid.

On Sunday he crashed into an Austrian police roadblock after refusing a breath test for alcohol. He has been charged with civil disorder, an Austrian prosecutor said, and was sacked by the Austrian ski federation.

An Italian prosecutor said police had found drugs, syringes and blood transfusion equipment during Saturday night's raid on Austrian athletes.

More than 100 syringes, 30 packs of drugs as well as devices for transfusions and testing had been seized in the raid on the biathlon and cross-country teams, the official said.

Egg Shen Says, "What The Fuck?"

These two things have absolutely nothing to do with one another, but Egg Shen just likes Gustav Klimt.



Passenger Arrested With Head In Luggage

Reuters

The Hatian woman accused of smuggling a human skull in her luggage at Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport was released from jail Tuesday.

Myrlene Severe was on a flight from Haiti on Thursday when customs officials examined her luggage and found the skull in a rice bag filled with grass, banana leaves, dirt, rocks and an iron nail.

Severe, 30, said the skull is for religious purposes. According to an affidavit, she told authorities "she had obtained the package, which contained the human head, from a male in Haiti for ... use as a part of her voodoo beliefs."

The Broward County medical examiner's office believes the skull was unearthed from a grave in Haiti and may be of a deceased relative.

Broward County Chief Medical Examiner Joshua Perper said that the skull was that of a male in his 30s or 40s that had been removed from a grave within the last year.

Barbara Gonzalez, a spokeswoman for Immigration and Customs Enforcement, said the skull "still had teeth, hair and bits of skin" on it.

"The people who practice this religion go to the grave of their relative and the spirit of their relative gives them permission," Perper said. "They believe that such permission was meant for them and they basically take the skull out of the ground and perform their voodoo rituals."

Severe, who lives in Miramar, is a Haitian national who has permanent residency status in the U.S.

Severe faces a maximum of 15 years in prison if convicted on all charges. She bonded out of jail and is due back in federal court March 2.

Don't Mess With Dick

Death To The Olympics

Egg Shen try to watch some of the Olympics, but can't stop asking himself, "What's the point of this?"

In Women's Ice Hockey they're not allowed to do any type of body checking.

Who cares about the game then?

Girls from Germany and Switzerland are kind of cute. Would be better if they skated around in their undies. Then maybe Egg Shen watch.

13 Going On Naughty

As Egg Shen was slapping Gold Bond Powder on his dusty and shriveled manhood, a thought occurred to him:

"If Egg Shen finds himself aroused at the sight of Jennifer Garner in "13 Going On 30", does that make Egg Shen a pedophile?"



Egg Shen no care.

Egg Shen want to pillage her like a viking.

Egg

Egg Shen Just Shakes Head In Disgust

"WASHINGTON - Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot and injured a man during a weekend quail hunting trip in Texas, his spokeswoman said Sunday.

Harry Whittington, 78, was "alert and doing fine" after Cheney sprayed Whittington with shotgun pellets on Saturday at the Armstrong Ranch in south Texas, said property owner Katharine Armstrong.

Armstrong said Cheney turned to shoot a bird and accidentally hit Whittington. She said Whittington was taken to Corpus Christi Memorial Hospital by ambulance.

Cheney's spokeswoman, Lea Anne McBride, said the vice president was with Whittington, a lawyer from Austin, Texas, and his wife at the hospital on Sunday afternoon."

Egg Lusts Some More After Lucy

Egg Shen does not care about geeky fanboy shows like "Battlestar Galactica", but how Egg lusts after a certain warrior princess.



Egg must go back to work on his spells and develop enslavement potion for her.

How she stirs Egg's ancient and musty loins.

Idiot

Egg Shen say, "What a fucking idiot."

Former Olympic runner John Whetton is seen hoping over a fence during a Readyfield Bloodhounds hunt in Welbeck, central England in this March 27, 2004 photo made available Friday Feb.10, 2006. He is reluctant to call himself a human fox, but several times a year John Whetton is chased through the British countryside by scarlet-coated huntsmen and their packs of bloodthirsty hounds.

'I get caught very, very rarely,' Whetton said Friday. 'But, when I do, the worst that can happen is you get licked to death.' Whetton, a former Olympic middle-distance runner who ran in Tokyo and Mexico City in the 1964 and 1968 games, is a volunteer for the Readyfield Bloodhounds hunt, a fox-less hunt held in central England.

Egg Go Home

Gawd.

Blogging is so STUPID.

Whoever invented this?

Feed them to Chinese snapping turtle. Testicles first.

Blog only good for posting pictures of Lucy Lawless from Grammys.



Oh, how Egg lusts after her.

Egg Relaxes

Egg Shen riding on what you people call Metro today. Egg Shen call it "subway".

Egg Shen was nice and relaxed and fall asleep in seat with head resting up against window.

Egg Shen so calm and relaxed he accidentally let out loud fart.

Twice.

"Hey! Girl with brown coat! What you looking at? You never fart before? Go back to listening to your iPod."

Egg

DC Girls

Egg Shen believe that girls who are in New York were in drama club in High School and go there to be on Broadway.

The girls who go to Los Angeles were cheerleaders back in day and go to be actress in Hollywood.

On the other hand, the girls who come to Washington, DC were head of the debate club and couldn't get date to prom.

Shit, you ain't all that, stuck up girl at Rock Bottom.

Egg Shen cast spell and turn you into guano.

Cartoons & Religion Don't Mix

Egg Shen read this story about French woman and new face and have only one thought:



"Rarrrggghhhh! Brains!"

Egg Shen also wonder what crawled up Muslims' asses.

Garfield hasn't been funny for years and you do not see Egg Shen firebombing Embassies and acting like complete jackass.

No wonder they still chop each other's heads off.

Egg Shen say, "Muslims of the world! Quit taking yourselves so seriously and try getting laid. That might help."

The Wizard Awakens

To: The Hot Blonde Girl In The Ugg Boots At Bailey's In Ballston Last Night

From: The Wizard Egg Shen

Holy shit! You are fucking hot! But what the hell is the matter with you, hanging out with those losers wearing their Ashton Kutcher trucker caps and "Westside" gangsta t-shirts?

If that white boy ever set foot on the "Westside" I know some hard, pipe-hitting brothas who would have him bent over a pommel horse so fast he'd crap his pants.

Why not come over and spend some time with Egg Shen? Let him show you his "Ancient Chinese Secret"?

Or maybe you like to try his twice fried noodle?

Heeheehee.

Gawd. You're hot.

Egg

Doors Are Closing

Egg Shen know he not been in DC long, but he think he know which side of the toast this grrl like her butter on.

DC such weird place. You can take one look at her and tell, but no one dares to state the obvious.

Egg Shen convinced there no such thing as good looking lesbians.

Egg Shen think that there's only two kinds: The good lookin' ones who just pretend to be lesbians in order to get attention, and the ones who wish they were actually men.

Egg Shen go now and try to conjure up succubus for infernal pleasure. Hee hee hee.

Bu Cac Tao

Hey there. Thanks for stopping by. Well, this is my first real post on my new site and the first since the move. It has been a very stressful time, but I'm glad to finally be in DC and to see if this thing works out. Already I'm having problems with the landlord, so I hope that this isn't a sign of things to come.

A friend I met a little while ago asked me to help him out with something that sounded pretty fun, but I don't know if I really want to do it. Sounds kinda silly, but it's a good way to learn a lot about this town in a short period of time. We'll see. I don't want to burn any bridges on a new city before I've had a chance to scope the place around a bit.

O.K. I know this is boring so I'll end now. Going to ride this Metro thing they've got here and check out what I can . I'll try to write more later.

Egg

Big Trouble

Egg Shen: "Can see things no one else can see. Do things no one else can do."

Jack Burton: "Real things?"

Egg Shen: "As real as Lo Pan!"

Jack Burton: "Hey, what more can a guy ask for?"

Egg Shen: "Oh, a Six Demon Bag!"

Jack Burton: "Terrific, a Six Demon Bag. Sensational. What's in it, Egg?"

Egg Shen: "Wind, fire, all that kind of thing!"